Turd Floor.

Kenley: "Oooh! Oh! I left a big turd! I'm so sorry about that! I'm so sorry!"
Daddy: "In the toilet?"
Kenley: "No! On the floor!"
Daddy: "So you pooped your pants then?"
Kenley: "No!"
Daddy: "So you're saying you pooped the floor?"

Bed Time.

"Guys? Guys! It is WAY past your bed time."

Chin.

Kenley: "Mom. Give me your chin."
Me: "No. What do you need my chin for?"
Kenley: "Because." *I lean in and she grabs my chin in her hand and looks straight in to my eyes* "You and dad need to swim at the beach with me."

Picky Things.

I was laying down with my arm up over my head when Kenley catches a glimpse of my in-need-of-a-shave armpit...

"Oooh, look at those picky things!"

Celery Sticks.

"I love you. And I like celery sticks."

Three Days.

"Mom, I love you. For three days."

Monkeys.

While watching Tarzan...

Kenley: "Why do monkeys cry?"
Me: "For the same reasons you do, I guess. Why do you cry?"
Kenley: "When I want something. When I want a popsicle."

Credit.

During a discussion about healthy habits...

Kenley: "I go to bed, I drink water, I eat my food, I take naps, I brush my teeth."
Me: "Yeah, you're pretty good at all of those, but I don't know if I can give you credit for taking naps."
Kenley: "Well what can you give me a credit for?"

Tree Frogs.

*After seeing tree frogs on Sesame Street...*

Kenley: "Mom, what do tree frogs do?"
Me: "They live in trees."
Kenley: "So they're all like, 'I'm a frog and I live in a tree?'"
Me: *laughs* "Yup, I guess so."

Nasty Kids.

*In response to me picking up my niece*

"Do not pick her nasty kids up.*

Other Side.

Kenley: "I want to lay down at the other end."
Me: "Why? I just made your bed all nice for you."
Kenley: "Because I want to see everything there is to see from the other side."

Boo-Boo.

Kenley: "Can you put some cream on my boo-boo?"
Me: "Of course. *applies cream* That'll make it feel better."
Kenley: "What else makes it feel better?"
Me: *kisses boo-boo* "That will definitely help."
Kenley: "TV will help, too."
Me: "You're a shyster. Nice try."

Squirtin'.

*Upon seeing some boys outside with squirt guns...*

"The boys are squirtin'!  Those boys! They're squirtin'!"

Storyteller.

Kenley: "Elmo got burnt."
Me: "And how did Elmo get burned?"
Kenley: "Adley made a fire."
Me: "So you're saying your sister started a fire?"
Kenley: "Yes."
Me: "You're quite the storyteller, aren't you?"
Kenley: "Thank you, Mom."