good day.

Daddy: "How was your day?"
Kenley: "It was good, so I need to tell you all about it right now on the phone."

fart.

"Daddy, I just farted in this chair. Mom, I just farted on your leg."

antique.

Kenley: "Dad, what's an antique?"
Daddy: "It's something old, kinda like your dad."
Kenley: "And like Aunty Shannon?"

top secret.

Kenley: "What are you doing?"
Daddy: "It's top secret."
Kenley: "I'll look away." *shields eyes*

drink wind.

*Kenley gets out of bed and comes downstairs while I'm playing Xbox*

Kenley: "Mom, what are you doing?"
Me: "I'm playing an adult game, and if I had some, I'd drink some wind, too. You need to go to bed."
Kenley: "But...  I want to play a game, and drink wind, too!"
Daddy: "Maybe tomorrow when you get home. Er...wait, no wine for you."

Ice Cream.

"Daddy bought me sticky ice cream and I am so upset."

Turd Floor.

Kenley: "Oooh! Oh! I left a big turd! I'm so sorry about that! I'm so sorry!"
Daddy: "In the toilet?"
Kenley: "No! On the floor!"
Daddy: "So you pooped your pants then?"
Kenley: "No!"
Daddy: "So you're saying you pooped the floor?"

Poop Dinner.

*Daddy is outside raking up dog poop while the grill is heating up. Kenley yells to him out the window...*

"Dad! Why you cookin' the poop dinner!?"

Baby Belly.

Following an explanation of a baby shower...

Kenley: "I got a baby in my belly."
Me: "Oh yeah?  How'd you get a baby in your belly?"
Kenley: "Daddy."