Cuppy.

"I can't find my cuppy.  I'm sad, so sad."

Dog.

Standing on the back of the couch watching the dog outside...

"Who let the dogs out, who who?"

Poop Outside.

Me to the dog: "You need to go outside or what?"
Kenley: "I need to go poop outside."

Hangin' Out.

Kenley: "Whatchu doin', Mom?"
Me: "Trying to clean up.  What are you doing?"
Kenley: "Hangin' out."

I'm Done.

"DAD!  I'M DONE!  COME WIPE MY BUTT!  I POOPED!"

Butt.

 *Fishes around in pants*

"Let me look in my butt, mom.  There's a boo boo in there.  Let me look in there with my hand."

Boss.

Me: "Pick up that blanket.  Now."
Kenley: "Okay, boss."

Birthday.

Me: "When's Kenley's birthday?"
Kenley: "Kenley who?"

Moves.

While singing and dancing around with a stuffed Tigger...


"I got the moves like Tigger.  Got the moves like Tigger."

Patience.

"I need to go lay on the floor.  I'm losin' my patience."

Kiss This.

"Oh, I feel better now.  You want to kiss my butt, Mama?"

Over It.

"Take my shoes off, Dad.  I'm sick'a dis."

Car Boo Boo.

"If you get hit by a car, you get a boo boo."

football.

Kenley's protest as Daddy hauls her away from the TVs at the baby shower...

"I want to watch football!!"

Bad Word.

Kenley: "I say almost a bad word."
Me: "And what was that?"
Kenley: "Oh, damn it."

Crocodile Shoeses.

 In reference to my Crocs...

"Whatchu gonna do with them shoeses?  Those crocodile shoeses?"

Counting Up An Appetite.

Kenley & I counting...

"Nine, ten, eleven..."
Me: "...twelve.  What comes after twelve?"
Kenley: "I'm hungry!"

Breakfast of Champions.

"I eat the booger."

Honker.

 After Daddy helps her blow her nose...

"I blow my honker."

Pooped.

After using the potty...

"Empty my poop, dad."

Naughty Girl.

"I'm not a naughty girl. Not like NeNe."

Scratch My Back.

*I scratch Kenley's back*
Kenley: "Under my shirt, mama."
*Scratches under Kenley's shirt*
Kenley: *Scrunches eyes closed*  "Ahhhhh."

Boobies.

Kenley "Boobies is big."
Me: "Whose?"
Kenley: "Your boobies, mom."

Baby Belly.

Following an explanation of a baby shower...

Kenley: "I got a baby in my belly."
Me: "Oh yeah?  How'd you get a baby in your belly?"
Kenley: "Daddy."

Old Lady.

"You're an old lady, mom."

Oh Boy.

"Dad's not a kid, he's a boy!  And I'm a girl!"

Whatever.

Me: "Get upstairs."
Kenley:  "Huh?"
Me: "Get upstairs!"
Kenley: "WHATever."

I Got You.

Kenley dashing in to her room with a clothespin:

"I got you, I got you!  Yes, siree bob!"

Naked.

Kenley: "You're not naked, daddy."
Husband: "No, I'm not naked."
Kenley: "I'm naked!"

Ahh, Fweak Out.

Kenley to Daddy:

"Mama's gonna fweak out."

Poop.

"I got dog poop.  You gotta take my shoes off!!"

Dancin' Bones.

Kenley: "Mom, you got the puter?" (puter = computer)
Me: "Yup."
Kenley: "You can't have the puter!"
Me: "Why not?"
Kenley: "Daddy needs to have the puter."
Me: "He does, hey?"
Kenley: "We gotta listen to 'Dancin' Bones'!!"

Noggin.

"I felled on my noggin."

Breast is Best.

Kenley lifts up her shirt, applies her Dora doll to her chest and says, "you need my booby?"

Boob Diaper.

*Kenley hands me a nursing pad*

"Here, mommy.  Here's a diaper for your booby."

Boob Feeds.

Kenley: "I gotta go potty."
Me: "Hurry up, your sister's hungry."
Kenley: "You gonna feed sister Adley with your boob?"

Marker Bruise.

My inquiry in to a small mark on Kenley's face leads to this conversation:

Me: "Is that a boo boo on your face?"
Kenley: "No."
Me: "Then what is it?"
Kenley: "I color on myself."
Me: "You did, hey?"
Kenley: "Yeah."
Me: "What'd you color on yourself with?"
Kenley: "A marker."
Me: "Oh yeah? What color."
Kenley: "Pink."
Me: "Where'd you get a pink marker from?"
Kenley: "The box."
Me: "And where's the box?"
Kenley: "In the kitchen."
Me: "So you colored on your face with a pink marker that you found in a box in the kitchen?"
Kenley: "Yup."
Me: "When did you do that?"
Kenley: "Because."
Me: "No, not 'why', when?"
Kenley: *scrunches up face* "Because."

---

Husband: "Did you see Kenley's bruise on her face?"
Me: "Yeah, I did see that. She said she colored on it with pink marker."
Husband: "No, I accidentally bumped in to her with the vacuum while I was vacuuming."

Twee Turd.

Kenley comes screaming through the kitchen en route to the potty...

"I gotta go poop, Gwamps!"

I'm in the bathroom getting ready to wipe her butt, and she turns around and looks in the toilet:

Kenley: "I poop a man turd."
Me: "Oh, you did, hey?"
Kenley: "No, I poop a twee turd."
Me: "A tree turd? Does it look like a tree?"
Kenley: "Yup."
Exits bathroom.

(It did kinda look like a twee tree.)

Booger.

I'm in the basement doing laundry, when I hear Kenley yell down the steps:

"MOM!?  YOU WANT TO COME GET THIS BOOGER?!"

911.

Kenley: "I want a bean."
Daddy: "You're not gonna like 'em, they're spicy."
Kenley: *takes bean, chews, swallows, then furiously bats at tongue*
Daddy: "See? I told ya. They're hot."
Kenley: "I gotta go to the hospital."

Man Turd.

"I pooped a man turd."